No one was listening to our podcast, so, in typical startup style, we pivoted – which, since no one is listening, no one even needs to know. But I’m telling you – no one – anyway. Writing into the void until someone fills the space. Fitting, because this week’s episode – this week in general – is all about space. Gaping, empty space.
Check it out below:
Or, if you don’t have half an hour to fill your mind with useless, timely knowledge? TL;DW:
Elected state representatives left the state they were elected to represent to protest electoral laws.
67 House Democrats left Texas – on private jets, in the middle of the night, with cases of Miller Lites – to protest House Republicans and the Governor’s support for stricter voting laws. The latter responded with threats of arrest. Kendall says it comes down to Americans not liking it when people of color to vote. Connor thinks it comes down to big money in politics and purposefully opaque bureaucracy. (The legislation in question is almost 800 pages long.) Maddie thinks the solution is to reap the world of boomers. Are we ageist and/or biased? Like everyone else, sure. But, within the demographic of “ancient white men in power,” more empty space will always be welcome by me.
The oceans are getting emptier – tonight on the Discovery channel!
What’s not to love about an ancient aquatic apex predator remaining biologically unchanged for the past 400 million years, having already reached evolutionary perfect death machine status? Well, for one thing, we’re killing them for sport and/or cheap cat food. Once a fun, informative, and adrenaline-inducing diversion, Shark Week is now “an important reminder that we’re destroying our ecosystem.” Connor thinks it’s a shit show – literally – now that Jackass has used it a vehicle to reboot for Gen Z sensibilities via a cast member named Poopie. Kendall thinks anyone who wants to wakeboard over a pit of sharks and gets their arm bit off totally had it coming. I think there’s a reason the bottomless depths of the ocean remained empty for the practical entirety of Earth’s existence. “Let them do them and stop polluting the planet” seems like as good a take as any.
Intellectual properties jammed in space. (Again.)
Why are we using our ambitious platform to discuss a universally-panned two-hour long commercial for Warner Brothers’ IP? Well Connor thinks this was a beautifully done movie with a not-at-all hackneyed message. We’re all about our hot takes. Kendall for his part hasn’t even seen it. Tells you all you need to know. But hey! Space! We’re nothing if not thematically consistent.
The rivers are getting emptier – tonight on the Weather channel!
The Chinook salmon population is already endangered and it’s looking like we’re going to lose an entire brood of hatchlings in the Sacramento River this year because in case you haven’t heard (slash stepped outside all summer) the whole of the Earth’s surface is getting hotter fast. Kendall thinks it’s nice the greatest generation finally gets to see the effects of the climate change they were warned about back when they had time to prevent it. Connor thinks that being able to kayak down the Michigan interstate for four years in a row is sick. (In the worst way.) Maddie thinks we’re here for a good time not a long time. Big picture is, climate change is happening, species are dying, and it’s too late to prevent it. But, for now we’re here anyway, might as well keep trying.
Billionaires compared the sizes of their definitions of space.
Richard Branson didn’t technically go to space, but he got there first. Jeff Bezos came in second, but he actually went all the way. Elon Musk gave up on the space race, and also his own race. (Humans, not reptilians – but I understand the confusion.) Kendall thinks we should just start taking money from people with gigantic egos and small penises once they get so much that the human brain can’t comprehend it or use it for anything useful. Connor thinks the government wouldn’t do anything useful with it either. But we can all agree it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things and they should all feel free to stay up there.
We redefined ourselves.
If the theme of this week – our impending existential doom – is anything to go off, it’s a good time to start a new ecosystem, which is exactly what we’re trying to do. So, in the little community of rational, respectful adults we’re trying to build, our rebrand is indeed big news. We are launching our new podcast network – Pirate Radio – and a platform to help artists make actual money on their work – B0UG3 – at the same time in the hopes of supporting our larger mission: normalizing rational discourse. So, if you are a writer, an artist, or simply just an average person who believes the world could stand to be a little more self aware and a little less cruel, sign up below. Every platform – but ours especially – should have a spot for you.
Written by Casimir M. Stone
#ARMYOURSELF WITH MORE:
🗞️ News → What Happened Today?
📺 Entertainment → Culture Whore
🎭 Lifestyle & Humor → Entitled Little Bitch