What Happened Today? | 7.19.21

Today on Main Street we weathered the shortest recession in history. Authorities steamrolled fake money. (Literally.) College students must get vaccines. Colonialists can no longer get ice cream. Power struggles ended in Peru and Haiti. The first active NHL player came out. A trans woman got a swimsuit issue cover for the first time. It was too hot to play in the park so we stuck our heads in a fountain instead.